A young reader emailed me recently about her career goals. She wants to be a researcher and teacher but her friends all just want to play video games. She was struggling with the tension between her goals and her relationships. She felt like they were competing for attention.
I recommended she find some people who could appreciate her goals and who are pursuing similar things. Instead of spending evenings playing games online, she needs people who will share a table full of text books and study with her.
Big goals can be impossible alone. There’s a phrase I love that goes, “if you want to go fast, travel alone. If you want to go far, go together.”
There’s a lot of truth to it. If you’re pursuing different goals than the people around you, you’re going to struggle.
As you think about your coming year and your goals and resolutions, you might have in mind— this is key. Your community doesn’t have to have the same goals, but it’s helpful if they share a lifestyle that is supportive.
How to Build a New Year Resolutions Support Team
To get even more specific, there are a few different roles that you can use to think about the people in your life.
Cheerleader – These are people who will encourage you when you’re down and who believe in you no matter what. They don’t have to be pursuing similar things, but they are people who you can go to when you’re down.
Comrade – This is someone who’s in it with you, doing similar work. this is a team mate. It’s someone who is in the fight with you, side-by-side.
Mentor – This is someone who is further along who you could go to for wisdom. They might have an expertise in your field or a similar one. They’re people who you can go to periodically for perspective and strategy for your next moves.
Accountability Partner – This is someone who will hold you to your commitments. sometimes they are in one of the other roles. Other times they are not. They are the people who are going to call you out when you’re playing it safe or not showing up in full force.
As you pursue your goals, think about who you know that fills these roles and who you might need to find. Many of us are lacking in some of these areas, but the stronger your community is— the more you’ll find you already have the people you need.
If that reader is reading this: I hope you will find your people to fill these roles. And I hope your gamer friends will understand if you’re not as available as you once were.
If you want more help making more happen in the new year, Operating Instructions is for you. Check it out here: operatinginstructions.co
Nice Post. Yes, hard, but important to find the right kind of people to surround yourself with not the default group who happens to be nearby in class or the neighborhood. Still working on building my support team.
Keep at it. It’s always a work in progress.