You Can’t Find Your Calling If You Don’t Know Your Values— Here’s How to Identify Yours

That nagging sense that something’s off— even though you’re doing all the “right” things— is often a values gap. When your daily work doesn’t reflect what you actually believe matters, it shows up as burnout, dissatisfaction, or the persistent feeling that you’re living someone else’s life.

A values list worksheet is a tool containing 50-150 personal values (like integrity, creativity, family, or adventure) that helps you identify your 3-10 core values through selection and prioritization exercises. Research shows that when people choose careers aligned with their core values, they experience significantly higher job satisfaction, better performance, and greater overall life satisfaction. Values clarification is a proven technique used in therapy and coaching to help people make decisions that reflect what truly matters to them— not what they think they should value.

Key Takeaways:
– Values are your foundation for finding meaningful work: You can’t identify your calling without knowing what principles guide your decisions and give your life meaning
– Most worksheets use a narrowing process: Start with 20-30 values that resonate, narrow to top 10, then identify your 3-5 core values (Brené Brown recommends just 2 for ultimate focus)
– Values differ from goals: Values are ongoing directions (like heading West), while goals are specific achievements (like reaching a city)— this distinction matters for career decisions
– Value alignment predicts career satisfaction: Research confirms that people whose work aligns with their core values report significantly higher job satisfaction and better performance

Why You Need to Know Your Values

You know that feeling. Sunday evening hits, and instead of looking forward to the week ahead, you feel a heaviness settle in.

You’re checking all the boxes. Good job. Decent pay. Responsibilities that should feel meaningful. But every morning, something feels off.

The problem isn’t that you’re ungrateful or lost— it’s that you’re living by someone else’s values.

Many of us inherit our values without examining them. Family expectations. Cultural defaults. What your college advisor said mattered. What your first boss rewarded. You absorb these priorities and assume they’re yours. Then you build a career around them. And wonder why success doesn’t feel like success.

Here’s what research tells us: When individuals choose careers aligned with their core values, they experience greater career satisfaction and perform better— but many people have never formally identified what their values actually are. They’re operating on autopilot, driven by inherited priorities they never chose.

Values are the missing piece between “what should I do” and “what’s right for me.” You can’t find meaningful work without knowing what makes work meaningful to you. Amy Wrzesniewski’s research on calling orientation shows this clearly— people who view their work as a calling see it as inseparable from their identity and values.

Before you can figure out what you want to do, you need to know what you value.

What Are Personal Values? (And Why They’re Not Goals)

Personal values are the principles and beliefs that matter most to you— they guide your decisions, shape your priorities, and define what you find important and worthy in life. Unlike goals (which you achieve and check off), values are ongoing directions you keep moving toward throughout your life.

Here’s where people get confused. Goals and values sound similar. They’re not.

Goals are destinations. Values are directions.

If I want to visit Iceland, that’s a goal. Adventure is a value. If I want a promotion, that’s a goal. Growth is a value. If I want to have dinner with my family every Friday, that’s a goal. Connection is a value.

Russ Harris, an ACT therapist, explains that values are our deepest desires for how we want to interact with the world— they’re directions we keep moving in, not destinations we arrive at.

This distinction matters for your career. Goals without values leave you empty when you reach them. You get the promotion and feel nothing. You make the salary and still feel misaligned. Values without goals leave you adrift— you know what matters, but you’re not building toward anything concrete.

Common value categories include relationships, career and achievement, personal growth, health and wellness, integrity and ethics, creativity and expression, security and stability, contribution and impact, autonomy, and spirituality. Shalom Schwartz’s research across 82 cultures identified 10 basic values (later refined to 19 in updated frameworks)— but how you prioritize them is unique to you.

Values are relatively stable but not immutable. Major life events (becoming a parent, experiencing loss, changing careers) can shift what matters to you. That’s normal. The key is knowing what you value right now— not what you valued ten years ago, and not what you think you should value.

Now that you understand what values are, here’s how to identify yours.

How to Use a Values List Worksheet (Step-by-Step Process)

The most effective way to identify your core values is through a structured narrowing process: start with a comprehensive list of 50-150 values, circle 20-30 that resonate, narrow to your top 10 through comparison, then identify your 3-5 core values that you can’t compromise on.

Here’s the process:

Step 1: Review the comprehensive values list (below) without overthinking.
Read through the list once. Trust your gut. Circle or highlight anything that makes you pause— even if you can’t articulate why. Don’t analyze. Just notice what resonates.

Step 2: Initial selection— circle 20-30 values that resonate intuitively.
Go back through your marked values. Narrow to 20-30. You’re looking for the ones that feel non-negotiable. Not aspirational. Not what sounds good. What actually matters to you.

Step 3: Narrow to top 10 by asking “Which of these am I unwilling to compromise?”
This is where it gets hard. Force yourself to compare. If you had to choose between freedom and security, which matters more? Between recognition and authenticity? Between family and impact? There are no right answers— just your answers.

Step 4: Identify 3-5 core values (or 2 if using Brené Brown’s stricter method).
These are your core values. The ones you build your life around. Brené Brown’s approach forces you to choose just 2— a process she admits feels impossible but reveals what you truly prioritize versus what sounds aspirational. Most people land on 3-5. Either works.

Step 5: Define what each value means to YOU specifically.
“Integrity” means something different to you than it does to me. What behaviors demonstrate this value? What does living this value look like in your daily life? Write it down. Get specific.

Step 6: Assess current alignment— rate how well you’re living each value (1-10 scale).
Be honest. If you value creativity but haven’t made anything in six months, that’s a 3, not an 8. This gap between stated values and lived reality is where the discomfort lives.

Pro Tips:
– Trust intuition over analysis. Your first instinct is usually right.
– Avoid “should” values. If you’re choosing “integrity” and “honesty” because they sound good, you’re doing this wrong— everyone thinks they value those. Dig deeper. What do you value that someone else might not?
– Get feedback from people who know you well. You can’t see the picture if you’re in the frame. Ask: “What do you think I value based on how I actually live?”
– This step feels uncomfortable— that’s the point. If it’s easy, you’re probably not being honest.

Here’s what I see people mess up: They choose values that sound admirable instead of values that feel true. They pick “achievement” because their family expected it, not because they actually care about it. They select “family” because it seems like the right answer, but they’re happiest when they’re working alone on creative projects.

The worksheet doesn’t care about right answers. It cares about your answers.

Common Personal Values List (Comprehensive Reference)

Below is a list of 75+ common personal values organized by category to help you identify what matters most. This isn’t exhaustive— if a value important to you isn’t listed, add it.

Shalom Schwartz’s research across 82 cultures identified 10 basic values (later refined to 19 in updated frameworks), but how you prioritize them is unique to you.

Relationships & Connection:
Belonging, Community, Compassion, Family, Friendship, Intimacy, Love, Loyalty, Partnership, Trust

Career & Achievement:
Achievement, Advancement, Ambition, Competence, Excellence, Expertise, Influence, Leadership, Recognition, Success

Personal Growth & Learning:
Adventure, Challenge, Courage, Curiosity, Discovery, Growth, Independence, Knowledge, Learning, Self-awareness, Wisdom

Health & Wellness:
Balance, Energy, Fitness, Health, Peace, Relaxation, Rest, Vitality, Well-being

Integrity & Ethics:
Authenticity, Fairness, Honesty, Integrity, Justice, Respect, Responsibility, Transparency, Truth

Creativity & Expression:
Artistry, Beauty, Creativity, Expression, Freedom, Imagination, Innovation, Originality, Playfulness, Spontaneity

Security & Stability:
Order, Predictability, Reliability, Safety, Security, Stability, Structure, Tradition

Contribution & Impact:
Compassion, Generosity, Helping, Impact, Legacy, Meaning, Purpose, Service, Stewardship

Autonomy & Freedom:
Autonomy, Choice, Control, Freedom, Independence, Self-determination, Self-direction

Spirituality & Meaning:
Faith, Gratitude, Hope, Meaning, Mindfulness, Purpose, Reflection, Spirituality, Transcendence

If you’re drawn to 40 of these, you’re not being honest— or you’re overthinking it. Start over. Choose the ones you can’t live without.

Now that you’ve identified your core values, here’s what to do with them.

How Values Connect to Finding Your Calling

Your calling isn’t just about what you’re good at or what the world needs— it’s fundamentally about what you value. Amy Wrzesniewski’s research shows that people who view their work as a calling (rather than just a job or career) see their work as inseparable from their identity and values.

Think of it as three overlapping circles in a Venn diagram: what you’re good at, what the world needs, and what you value. Your calling lives where all three intersect. Most career advice focuses on the first two. Skills. Market demand. But without the third circle— values— you end up with work that looks good on paper and feels empty in practice.

Here’s what research tells us: When people choose work that aligns with their intrinsic and social values, they report greater career satisfaction, better performance, and higher overall life satisfaction. But when work is driven primarily by extrinsic values like money or status, it negatively predicts well-being.

I’ve seen this pattern repeatedly. The consultant making $200K who’s miserable because they value creativity and their work is all process compliance. The nonprofit director earning half that who feels fulfilled because their work aligns with service and impact. Money and status are extrinsic values— they can’t fill the hole left by ignoring what you actually care about. That’s not philosophy; it’s research.

This is where Self-Determination Theory becomes really helpful. Edward Deci and Richard Ryan’s research identifies three core psychological needs: autonomy, competence, and relatedness. When your work supports these needs— when it aligns with intrinsic values like growth, connection, and contribution— you thrive. When it doesn’t, you burn out.

Why does the high-paying job feel empty? Because extrinsic rewards (salary, title, recognition) don’t fulfill intrinsic values. You can’t buy meaning. You can’t promote yourself into purpose.

Values help you evaluate career fit beyond salary and title. They’re the lens you use to assess opportunities. Not “How much does it pay?” but “Does this allow me to live by what I’ve identified as non-negotiable?”

Knowing your values is one thing. Actually applying them to career decisions is another.

Applying Your Values to Career Decisions (Making It Practical)

Once you’ve identified your core values, use them as a filter for every major career decision: Does this job/opportunity/project allow me to live by what I’ve identified as non-negotiable? If the answer is consistently no, that’s your signal.

Evaluating job fit:
Map your values against job characteristics. If you value autonomy, does this role offer independence or micromanagement? If you value creativity, does the work allow for innovation or require strict compliance? If you value collaboration, is the culture team-oriented or siloed?

Ask yourself:
– Does this role align with my top 3 values?
– Where will I compromise, and can I live with that?
– What would need to change for better alignment?
– Am I choosing this for intrinsic or extrinsic reasons?

Career pivot decisions:
When your current role consistently conflicts with your values, that’s not burnout— that’s misalignment. Burnout implies you were aligned but exhausted. Misalignment means the work itself violates what you care about. That’s a signal. Not necessarily to quit tomorrow, but to acknowledge the gap and start moving toward better fit.

Daily choices:
Small decisions matter. How you spend your time. What projects you take. What boundaries you set. Values guide these micro-decisions. If you value family but consistently work through dinner, that’s a choice. Not a judgment— just a reality check.

Handling value conflicts:
Values can compete. You might value both adventure and security. Both recognition and authenticity. Both independence and community. This is normal. Schwartz’s research shows values exist on a circular continuum with natural tensions. Sometimes different values guide different life domains. Security guides financial decisions. Adventure guides weekend choices. That’s okay.

Here’s an example: Someone who values creativity accepts a structured corporate role for security, knowing the trade-off is temporary while they build financial stability. They’re not abandoning creativity— they’re prioritizing security right now, with a plan to shift toward creative work later. That’s values-aware decision making.

This isn’t about quitting your job tomorrow— it’s about honest evaluation. If you’re rationalizing why you should stay in a role that violates your core values, you’re already halfway out the door— emotionally if not literally.

Revisiting values:
Check in annually or after major life events. Values can shift. What mattered in your twenties might not matter in your forties. Becoming a parent, experiencing loss, changing careers— these can reorder your priorities. That’s growth, not failure.

Values work isn’t one-and-done. It’s a practice.

Your Next Steps

That misalignment feeling we started with? It doesn’t go away by working harder or achieving more— it goes away when you make choices rooted in what you actually value.

Finding your calling starts with knowing your values— everything else builds from there. Skills matter. Market demand matters. But without values clarity, you’re navigating blind.

Here’s what to do next:

1. Complete the values worksheet process above— don’t rush it
2. Share your top 3-5 values with someone who knows you well— do they ring true?
3. Assess one area of your life for value alignment this week
4. Explore how your values connect to finding your life purpose

Values work isn’t self-indulgent navel-gazing— it’s the foundation for every meaningful decision you’ll make. You can’t build a life that feels right if you don’t know what “right” means to you.

Take the next step. I believe in you.