How Do You Find What You Love To Do

Finding what you love to do comes through two research-backed paths: discovery (exploring existing interests) and development (building passion through skill mastery). Research from Yale and Georgetown shows that passion often emerges through experience and competence, not just introspection. Most people need both approaches at different stages— noticing what energizes you while building skills that create career capital and autonomy.

Key Takeaways:

• Two paths, not one: You can discover dormant interests from your past OR develop passion through skill-building— most people need both approaches
• Skill often precedes passion: Research shows passion frequently develops AFTER competence, not before (challenging “follow your passion” advice)
• Work orientation matters: How you view work (job vs. career vs. calling) affects satisfaction more than your actual job title
• Action beats introspection alone: Purpose reveals through experimentation, formative stories, and skill-building— not just thinking about it

Why Finding What You Love Feels Impossible

Finding what you love to do is hard because most of us receive conflicting messages about work— follow your passion, be practical, pursue status, find purpose— and these competing voices drown out your authentic desires.

Here’s what makes this especially difficult. You’re told to follow your passion, but then shamed if you don’t have one yet. You’re encouraged to explore, but also pressured to be practical. And the whole time, you’re looking around thinking everyone else has figured it out.

They haven’t.

Career confusion doesn’t mean you’re behind or broken— it means you’re in the discovery phase that most people navigate multiple times in life.

The numbers tell the story. 20% of people quitting jobs in 2022 were mid-career employees— the largest segment leaving. Over on Reddit, r/careerguidance has 2.1 million members asking the same questions you’re asking. You’re not alone. This is normal.

But here’s what people get wrong— they think the problem is internal. That something’s broken in them. In reality, the confusion often comes from external noise drowning out authentic desire.

Think about it— family expectations, societal pressure about what “successful” looks like, economic constraints that force practical choices over passionate exploration. Brené Brown’s research on authenticity shows that disconnection from authentic self comes from trying to meet everyone else’s expectations instead of your own.

And there’s another layer— you might not love things you haven’t gotten good at yet. Skill-interest confusion is real. That thing you think you hate? Maybe you just haven’t developed competence. That thing you think you love? Maybe it only interests you in theory, not practice.

Some days the real answer is just this— you need to pay bills, and exploration is a luxury you can’t afford right now. That’s not failure. That’s economic reality.

Here’s what research actually shows about how people find work they love.

The Two Paths to Finding What You Love

Research shows two distinct paths to finding what you love— the discovery path (for people with clues from their past) and the development path (for those building passion through skill mastery). Most people need both, but knowing which to emphasize first prevents wasted effort.

Passion can be discovered in dormant interests or developed through skill mastery— the key is knowing which path matches your starting point.

Let me break this down.

Path 1: Discovery (You Have Clues)

Some people have breadcrumbs from their past. Childhood interests they abandoned. Activities they lose time in. Recurring themes in what they read, watch, talk about voluntarily.

Signs you’re on this path—

• You notice patterns in what energizes you (teaching moments, creative projects, problem-solving)
• Certain topics pull you in repeatedly— you read about them even when you don’t have to
• You had passions as a kid that you shelved for “practical” choices
• When you’re at your best, you can identify what conditions created that state

If this sounds like you, your work is noticing and naming what’s already there. You’re not starting from scratch. You’re excavating.

Path 2: Development (Building From Scratch)

Other people genuinely don’t have clear clues. Maybe previous passions burned out. Maybe you’re pivoting careers and need practical foundation first. Maybe introspection keeps coming up empty.

Signs you’re on this path—

• Reflection exercises don’t reveal obvious patterns
• You’ve tried “follow your passion” advice and it led nowhere
• You’re in burnout recovery where previous interests feel hollow
• You need skill foundation before interest can emerge

If this is you, Cal Newport’s research at Georgetown offers hope— passion comes after you put in the hard work to become excellent at something valuable, not before. You’re not broken for lacking instant clarity. You’re on the development track.

Which Path Are You On? (Quick Assessment)

Ask yourself—

• Do I have interests from my past that I’ve ignored or shelved? (Discovery)
• When I reflect on what energizes me, do patterns emerge? (Discovery)
• Have I tried introspection and come up genuinely empty? (Development)
• Do I need practical skills before I can afford to explore? (Development)

Here’s the thing— most people alternate between paths multiple times. Discovery reveals general direction. Development builds competence that reveals new interests. This isn’t either/or— it’s a cycle.

Both “follow your passion” and “passion follows skill” camps are partially right. Context matters.

Before diving into practical methods, it helps to understand the research foundation.

What Research Says About Finding Meaningful Work

Research from Yale, Georgetown, and positive psychology shows that how you view your work (as job, career, or calling) matters more for satisfaction than what you actually do— and that calling orientation can be cultivated, not just discovered.

Amy Wrzesniewski at Yale School of Management identified three work orientations—

Here’s what makes this research useful— distribution is even across all professions. One-third of workers in each category, regardless of job type or income level. People with calling orientations report they would do their work even without pay— and this perspective exists across all job types and income levels.

Orientation matters more than occupation.

And here’s the hopeful part— Wrzesniewski’s research on job crafting shows that calling orientation can be cultivated. You don’t have to quit your job to find meaning. Sometimes you modify tasks, relationships, or mindset within your current role.

But what about the “follow your passion” debate?

Cal Newport challenges the passion hypothesis with evidence. Preexisting passions are rare. Most people don’t have them. And the few who do often pursue fields unrelated to their eventual careers. Instead, Newport argues for the craftsman mindset— focus on building rare and valuable skills first. Passion emerges as a side effect of mastery.

Then there’s Self-Determination Theory from Deci and Ryan. Three psychological needs drive motivation— autonomy (control over your work), competence (feeling effective), and relatedness (connection to others). When these needs are satisfied, enhanced self-motivation and mental health result. You don’t need passionate work— you need work that satisfies these three needs.

Viktor Frankl’s logotherapy adds another layer. Meaning can be found through three avenues— creative (things you create or contribute), experiential (people you love or serve), and attitudinal (how you approach challenges, including suffering). Life can have purpose even in the face of suffering— meaning is discoverable through choices and actions, not just through work you love.

Not everyone needs intense passion for work. Meaning is enough for many people. And that’s completely fine.

So how do you actually apply this research? Start with the discovery path.

Discovery Path— Practical Exercises

If you’re on the discovery path, your work is to notice patterns— what energizes you, what you’re drawn to repeatedly, and what your formative experiences reveal about what you want to create or avoid.

The best way to find your calling is to know the stories that shape you— significant experiences (good and bad) reveal what you want to recreate or prevent in your work.

The Formative Stories Exercise

This is The Meaning Movement’s proprietary method from the Calling Course. It works because calling doesn’t come from nowhere— it emerges from experiences that formed your desires.

Here’s how—

1. Identify 3-5 significant experiences from your life (childhood through now). Include both good moments and painful ones.
2. For good moments, ask— What did I love about this? What do I want to recreate in my work?
3. For bad moments, ask— What pain did this cause? What do I want to prevent for others?
4. Look for recurring themes across your stories. What patterns emerge?

Good moments reveal what you want to build. Bad moments reveal problems you feel compelled to solve. Both shape calling.

I’ve seen someone discover through formative stories that every meaningful moment in their life involved mentoring— tutoring in high school, training new employees, coaching Little League. That pattern pointed toward teaching, not the finance career they were pursuing. They’d been ignoring the clues.

Track Your Energy and Attention

Pay attention for 30 days—

• What activities make you lose track of time?
• What do you read, watch, or talk about voluntarily (not for work)?
• Where do you feel most naturally competent?

Write it down. Research shows that journaling clarifies patterns introspection alone can’t reveal. Observe yourself like you’d observe someone else. What does your behavior say about your interests?

Energy doesn’t lie. If you’re “too tired” for everything except one specific type of activity, that’s a clue.

Use the Four P’s Diagnostic

If you’re evaluating current work, rate these four dimensions—

• People— Do you like who you work with?
• Process— Do you enjoy the daily activities?
• Product— Are you proud of what you create?
• Profit— Does compensation feel fair?

Low scores in People or Process suggest you need different environment or work type. Low scores in Product or Profit suggest you need different output or industry. This diagnostic tells you WHICH aspect needs to change— not just “I’m unhappy.”

Reflection without action goes nowhere. Pick one exercise and commit to 90 days.

If the discovery path isn’t revealing clear direction, you might need the development path instead.

Development Path— Building Passion Through Skill

If you don’t have clear interests from your past, your path is to build competence first— research shows passion often emerges AFTER you develop rare and valuable skills, not before.

Passion comes after you put in the hard work to become excellent at something valuable, not before. That’s Cal Newport’s finding from Georgetown research. And it challenges everything conventional career advice tells you.

Build Career Capital Through Skill

Newport’s concept of career capital is this— rare and valuable skills make you indispensable. Once you have career capital, you gain autonomy and control— and THAT’S when work becomes meaningful.

Here’s the approach—

1. Choose 2-3 skills adjacent to your current work or interests— not completely unrelated
2. Commit to deliberate practice for 3-6 months minimum— short experiments don’t reveal true engagement
3. Focus on getting genuinely good, not just dabbling

This path is slower. But it’s more reliable than waiting for lightning-bolt clarity.

I worked with someone who hated their marketing job but loved the data analysis part. They spent six months building SQL and visualization skills— skills adjacent to marketing but specialized. Competence in data opened doors they didn’t know existed. And passion for analysis emerged through mastery, not before it.

Try Job Crafting Where You Are

Wrzesniewski’s job crafting research shows you can transform job orientation from “job” to “calling” without changing employers. Job crafting means modifying tasks, relationships, or mindset to align with values.

Start small— shift 20% of your role toward more meaningful work. If you value mentoring, volunteer to train new hires. If you value creativity, propose one project with creative latitude. If you value impact, track outcomes your work creates.

Job crafting is underrated— you don’t always need to quit to find meaning.

Experiment With Adjacent Roles

William & Mary career development recommends these tactics—

• Informational interviews— Talk to 5-10 people doing work that seems interesting. Ask— What do you actually DO all day? What’s hard? What’s rewarding?
• Job shadowing— Observation beats imagination. Shadow for a day or week if possible.
• Volunteer commitments— Three months minimum— short exposure doesn’t reveal whether interest sustains through difficulty and tedium.

Look for roles that let you develop new skills, not just donate time. The goal is building competence that reveals whether interest is genuine.

This path takes time— months and years, not weeks. But impatience for instant clarity is what keeps people stuck.

How do you know when you’ve actually found what you love?

How to Recognize What You Love

You’ve likely found what you love when you experience intrinsic motivation— you’d do the work even without external rewards— and when the activity satisfies your needs for autonomy, competence, and connection.

Those with calling orientations say they would do their work even if they weren’t paid. That’s Wrzesniewski’s research marker. It sounds extreme, but it’s the clearest test.

Here’s what genuine fit looks like—

• Flow state— You lose track of time. Challenge matches skill level. You’re fully engaged.
• Intrinsic motivation— You do it because it’s interesting, not for status or money. Self-Determination Theory distinguishes intrinsic (doing for inherent satisfaction) from extrinsic (doing for external reward).
• Satisfies core needs— Autonomy (you have control), competence (you’re effective), relatedness (you’re connected to others).
• Interest persists— You’re still engaged after initial excitement fades. You push through difficulty because the work itself matters.

If you’re only motivated by external rewards, you haven’t found it yet— and that’s useful information. Keep searching.

But here’s the reality check.

When You Don’t Find “The One Thing” (And That’s Okay)

Not everyone discovers passionate work, and research shows you can still build a meaningful career through contribution, relationships, and how you approach challenges— passion isn’t the only path to meaning.

Life can have purpose even in the face of suffering— meaning is discoverable through your choices and actions, not just through work you love. That’s Viktor Frankl’s core insight from logotherapy.

Frankl identified three avenues to meaning—

• Creative values— What you create or contribute (work, art, service)
• Experiential values— Who you love or serve (relationships, beauty, truth)
• Attitudinal values— How you face challenges, including unavoidable suffering

Not everyone needs passionate work. Some people have multiple interests, not one dominant passion— and that’s valid. Some seasons are about paying bills, not soul-fulfillment. Economic reality matters.

Here’s what people get wrong— thinking everyone needs to love every minute of their work. You don’t. Meaning through contribution can substitute for passion. Helping others. Solving real problems. Making something better than you found it.

And sometimes meaning comes from life outside work— relationships, hobbies, community. That’s not settling. That’s work-life integration.

Meaning is enough. You don’t need passionate work to have a meaningful life.

So where do you start?

Your Next 90 Days

Finding what you love is a process measured in months and years, not weeks— but you can make meaningful progress in the next 90 days by choosing one path and committing to one exercise.

Most people don’t find what they love on the first try, or the second, or the fifth. This is exploration, not a test you pass or fail.

Here’s what I’d recommend—

Choose your starting path—

• If you have clues from your past (childhood interests, recurring themes, energy patterns) → Start with Discovery Path
• If introspection comes up empty or you need skill foundation → Start with Development Path
• If you’re not sure → Try Discovery for 30 days; if nothing emerges, switch to Development

Pick ONE exercise—

• Discovery— Formative stories exercise OR energy audit for 30 days
• Development— Skill-building experiment OR job crafting in current role

Commit to 90 days minimum. Purpose doesn’t reveal itself in two weeks. Most people alternate between paths multiple times throughout their careers. This isn’t linear.

Your life’s work is a work in progress. It evolves. And the next step is all you need to know right now.

Want more practical guidance? Check out these practical steps to find your purpose or explore where calling comes from in more depth.

Commitment beats clarity. Pick something and try it for 90 days.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can passion be developed or is it innate?

Both. Research shows some people discover existing interests from their past, while others develop passion through skill mastery and experience over time. Cal Newport’s research at Georgetown challenges the “follow your passion” assumption— passion often emerges AFTER competence, not before. Most people use both approaches at different career stages.

How do I know if I have a calling?

Research identifies calling orientation as viewing work as integral to your identity and finding meaning in it regardless of external rewards. Wrzesniewski’s Yale research found the key marker— you would do the work even without pay, and it satisfies your needs for autonomy, competence, and connection. Calling orientation correlates with higher life satisfaction across all job types.

Should I quit my job to follow my passion?

Research challenges “follow your passion” as starting advice. Better approach— experiment with interests while building competence in your current role through job crafting, then transition when you have career capital— rare and valuable skills that create options. Newport’s Georgetown research shows skill development often precedes passion.

How long does it take to find your passion?

Variable by individual, but research on skill mastery suggests years, not months. Mid-career changers report multiple attempts before finding fit— the largest segment of job-leavers in 2022 were mid-career professionals still searching. Commit to 90-day experiments rather than expecting instant clarity. This is a process, not a revelation.

What if I love something impractical or unprofitable?

Meaning can come from multiple sources. Frankl’s logotherapy research shows you can find purpose through what you create, who you serve, or how you face challenges. Some people pursue passion as side projects while maintaining practical work for income. Others find meaning through contribution or relationships outside work. Passionate work isn’t the only path to a meaningful life.