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Title: What Are Personal Values? How to Define Values That Guide Your Life
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Meta Description: Personal values are more than beliefs— they’re your identity compass. Learn what values really are, why they matter for meaningful work, and how to identify yours.
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What Are Personal Values? How to Define Values That Guide Your Life
Personal values are core beliefs about what matters most to you. They’re not just intellectual concepts— values are “beliefs linked inextricably to affect,” meaning they’re feeling-laden and infused with emotion when activated. Unlike goals (which are destinations you reach), values are directions you walk. When you lack clarity about your values, you’re not just indecisive— you’re disconnected from your identity.
Key Takeaways
- Values are direction, not destination: Unlike goals you accomplish, values are like a compass guiding choices based on where you want your life to go.
- Values clarity improves career satisfaction: Research shows that choosing work aligned with your values leads to greater satisfaction and better performance.
- Identifying values is a structured process: It’s not innate— you need reflection on peak moments, difficult decisions, and what energizes or depletes you.
- Values connect to calling: When you lack values clarity, you’re disconnected from your identity. Calling is identity expression, and values are the language of that identity.
What Are Personal Values (Really)?
Personal values are core beliefs about what matters most to you— but they’re not just intellectual concepts. Shalom Schwartz’s research on Basic Human Values describes values as “beliefs linked inextricably to affect,” meaning when your values are activated, they become infused with feeling.
You know that sense when something violates what you stand for? That’s your values talking.
But here’s where most people get confused: values aren’t the same as goals.
Goals are destinations. Values are directions.
According to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), values are like a compass— they help you make choices based on the directions in which you want your life to go. You never “accomplish” a value the way you accomplish a goal.
Values vs Goals:
- Health (value) vs Run a marathon (goal)
- Creativity (value) vs Write a novel (goal)
- Growth (value) vs Learn Spanish (goal)
- Service (value) vs Volunteer 50 hours (goal)
The distinction isn’t semantic. It’s the difference between who you are and what you achieve.
Values function as both identity markers and decision-making guides. When you’re clear about your values, you’re clear about yourself. When you’re unclear, even good options can feel confusing.
Why Values Matter for Meaningful Work
Research shows that when individuals choose careers aligned with their values, they experience greater career satisfaction and perform better. But values matter for more than just performance— they’re foundational to calling.
Here’s what I’ve learned working with people in career transitions: the ones who struggle aren’t necessarily in the wrong job. They’re disconnected from their values. They might have impressive careers on paper but feel empty inside. When we explore values, the pattern becomes clear— they’re living someone else’s definition of success.
This is about more than picking the right job. It’s about knowing who you are.
Values clarification improves wellbeing by fostering a sense of purpose and empowering authentic living. When your work aligns with your values, you’re not just productive— you’re expressing who you are.
Calling isn’t about finding the perfect job title. Calling is identity expression. And values are the language of that identity.
When you lack values clarity, you’re not just indecisive about career moves. You’re disconnected from yourself. Parts of yourself feel like they’re dying when you lack an outlet for expression.
Values also serve as an internal compass during transitions. When external circumstances change— layoffs, restructures, burnout— your values remain. They provide stability when everything else is uncertain.
You can’t outsource your values. No career quiz or aptitude test will hand them to you. The work is yours to do.
How to Identify Your Core Values
Identifying your values isn’t innate— it’s a structured process involving reflection, narrowing, and prioritization. The most effective methods involve examining peak moments, difficult decisions, and what energizes or depletes you.
I spent years unclear about my values despite sensing they were there. The turning point was reflecting on a career decision I’d agonized over. The tension wasn’t about salary or title— it was about autonomy. Once I named it, everything clicked.
Here’s a practical framework (synthesized from Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead method, values worksheets, and coaching psychology):
Reflection prompts:
- Peak moments: When have you felt most alive? What values were being honored?
- Difficult decisions: Think about a choice you agonized over. What values were at stake?
- Energy sources: What activities or environments energize you? Which deplete you?
- Role models: Who do you admire? What values do they embody?
- Frustrations: What frustrates you most? Often frustration signals a violated value.
Once you’ve reflected, create an initial list from a values inventory. (There are many online— pick one with 50-100 values to consider.)
Then narrow:
- Group into themes: Do creativity, autonomy, learning, and growth all cluster around “self-direction”?
- Identify core values: Narrow to your top 3-5. Brené Brown’s method narrows to 2 (the ones at the core of how you prefer to work). Others use 5. The point is clarity, not minimalism.
- Test: Do these feel true? Do they guide your decisions? Would you sacrifice other things to honor them?
Long values lists are overwhelming, not helpful. Clarity comes from narrowing, not expanding.
There’s no single “right” method. What matters is doing the work.
Values as Compass, Not Destination
Values aren’t goals you achieve— they’re directions you walk. This isn’t just semantic: it changes how you relate to your values entirely.
According to the ACT framework, you never “accomplish” a value. Instead, values are like a compass— they help you make choices based on the directions in which you want your life to go.
Living into values means expressing them across contexts— not achieving them once and being done.
Example: If “creativity” is a core value, you can express it through your job, side projects, how you approach problems, how you decorate your home. You don’t check “creativity” off a list. You orient your life toward it.
The same with “growth.” I’ll never “accomplish” growth— but I can choose work that challenges me, relationships that stretch me, and habits that push me.
This reframe changes everything.
Values can be expressed in multiple domains. If your current job doesn’t allow full expression of a value, look for other outlets. Sometimes the issue isn’t the job itself— it’s that you’re asking one role to carry all your values.
Connection to calling: The job itself is not the calling. It’s an avenue of expression for who you are. Values guide WHERE and HOW you express that identity.
If you’re treating values like items on a checklist, you’ve missed the point.
When You’re Out of Alignment
The hardest moment in values work isn’t identifying your values— it’s realizing you’re not living them. If that’s where you are, you’re not broken. You’re aware.
Awareness is the first step. You can’t address misalignment you don’t see.
Misalignment manifests as burnout, frustration, a sense that parts of you are withering. You might be succeeding by external metrics but feeling hollow inside.
I’ve seen people realize their work violates their core values and feel paralyzed. But small moves count. One person started a side project expressing creativity their day job suppressed. Eventually it became a bridge to a career shift.
Response options when misaligned:
- Small experiments: Start with one decision aligned with your top value. Notice how it feels.
- Find pockets of expression: Can you honor a value within your current role? Sometimes the work isn’t changing everything— it’s finding space for what matters.
- Plan bigger changes: If misalignment is fundamental, clarity about values gives you language to articulate what you need.
Sometimes you can’t change everything immediately. But small movements matter.
Values clarity gives you power. It helps you name what’s wrong and what you need.
I won’t tell you it’s easy. It’s not. But awareness is power.
Don’t stay silent about your values just because you can’t act on them yet. Name them. Own them. Then take one small step.
Taking the Next Step
You don’t need to have your values completely figured out to start. Clarity comes through action, not just contemplation.
Start with one value— not five.
Make one decision aligned with that value. Notice how it feels. Did it energize you? Did it create a sense of rightness?
Values can evolve as you grow. That’s normal, not failure. What mattered at 25 might shift at 40. The process of clarifying values is ongoing.
Your next steps:
- Reflect: Set aside 20 minutes. Use the prompts from this article. Write down what comes up.
- Narrow: From your initial list, identify 3-5 core values.
- Test: Make one small decision this week based on a core value. See how it feels.
As you clarify values, you clarify identity. As you clarify identity, calling becomes clearer.
There’s no perfect list of values waiting to be discovered. You build clarity by paying attention.
You don’t need permission to live your values. You have something to say. You have values worth living.
I believe in you.
Internal Links to Insert
Note: URLs pending verification during publication. Anchor text and placement confirmed.
- Section 2, paragraph 4: “Calling is identity expression.”
- Section 2, paragraph 2: “working with people in career transitions“
- Section 6, final paragraph (optional): Reference to meaningful work
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