Desire Archives - Page 2 of 6 - The Meaning Movement

Category "Desire"

Degrees of Variation (a year in review)

In the beginning of September, a few friends put together a party for my wife and I. We gathered in a friend’s backyard with lots of great food, drink, and many of our favorite people. We called it a “baby party” because I had an aversion to the idea of a “baby shower” (though I’m sure it was similar in many ways). A few friends offered words of blessing and hope for us as we transitioned into parenthood.

One of those friends who shared had been through a very rough transition to parenthood. Her son was born prematurely and they spent the first few months of his life in the infant intensive care unit at the hospital. She talked about how we have hopes for what things will be like and that sometimes life offers variations between our hopes and the events that come.

And other times there are many degrees of variations between our hopes and reality.

Her words stuck with me because I knew her experience and I knew how she’d lived through many degrees of difference from the way she had hoped things would go.

Her words became even more poignant when less than one week later, with my wife 33 weeks pregnant, I was on the operating table as surgeons literally took my intestines out and put them back in (I still can’t even believe it).

This was very different from how I had hoped the weeks leading up to parenthood would go. There were many degrees of variation.

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Balancing Self Care and Hustle

- - Courage, Desire, Tools, Work

When I was a kid there was a time when no one could get enough of Tetris. It may have been the first truly addictive video game (later followed up by Mine Sweeper— raise your hand if you’ve spent your share of hours on either!). I remember being at family gatherings and my full grown uncles and teenage cousins would pull out their Game Boys and pop in the Tetris cartridge.

They were hooked.

The idea behind the game is simple, these blocks keep coming and you have to find ways to make them all fit. Sometimes there isn’t a perfect place for them and they stack up a bit. But if you’re good, you can catch up a few blocks later.

Re-framing Balance

I had a conversation with Rachael Ellison some time ago. She helps businesses become parent friendly and helps parents advocate for themselves in the workplace. In our conversation I asked her about the idea of work-life balance.

She replied simply, “No. There is no balance.” And went on to talk about other metaphors that are better suited for the struggle.

She mentioned the game of Tetris.

There are times when you have to work more than you should. And there are times when you have to do other things more than you want to. There are times when the blocks stack up and you have to trust that you’ll catch up a few blocks later.

Playing Tetris With Your Life

For the past two months I’ve been struggling through the transition from hospitalization to home life. Everything came crashing down on me two months ago with an emergency surgery. It was as if life put up a road block and said, “you have to stop everything.”

And stop everything I did.

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The Microphone

Picture this with me: You’re escorted from a posh waiting room down a few nondescript halls to a curtain. Behind it is a dark stage holding only a microphone on a stand in the circle of light cast by spotlights.

Peeking through the curtain— your eyes fighting against the spotlight— you catch a faint glimpse of faces in the crowd. Light reflecting off of someone’s glasses. Small movements here and there.

You pause to listen and hear the gentle murmur and rustle of this audience waiting in anticipation.

How many many people are there? I’m not sure. 400? 5,000? 28,000? The number matters less than their intent, which is to hear what you have to teach them. To learn what you have to say.

They’ve come to hear a short program, only a few sentences in length.

The stagehand escorting you tells you you’re on in 1 minute as the host steps up to the microphone. You hear her begin your introduction.

And now it’s your turn.

You walk bravely and confidently to the mic to say your piece. To speak your truth.
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Finding Purpose in Life: The Long Guide to Finding Your Life’s Work

It was an earnest request: “I’d like to know how to find your vocation.”

We were sitting in one of Seattle’s finest coffee establishments. It was a sunny May morning— the best kind of day that you could hope for.

And I suddenly found myself unsure of where to start.

This is what I do! This is how I love to help people, but to answer the question so directly is challenging!

This is because the answer is usually pretty nuanced. It has to address who you, where you are, what you’re looking for in that question, and how you think of yourself, work, and life.

Here’s the trick about it: finding purpose in life is both beautifully simple and as complex as every person.

Finding your calling, vocation, and life’s work are about finding your identity. It’s about living into a deeper expression of who you are as a human.

As I expressed in the Meaning Manifesto, you were made to make something. If there’s one message for you to take away from that, it’s that you have something to say. So the question of finding your life’s work in essence is the question: “What do you want to say?”

And by say, I don’t mean actually say with words (though it could mean that), I mean create. Basically, what’s the impact you want to have on the world around you?

In this post, I’m going to lay out how you answer the question. Continue Reading

Cancer, Amputation, and How to Keep Going When Difficulties Arise

The last two weeks have been hard. Hard is an understatement, actually. They’ve been grueling. I’ve felt beyond capacity and empty.

They have been the hardest weeks of the past few years of my life.

A few months ago, my ever-present seven year old red heeler mix companion and side-kick, Lina, started limping.

We rescued Lina from a shelter 6 years ago. I wasn’t sure that I was ready for a dog, but Stacia knew this was the one. She couldn’t have been more right.

Lina has been with us through thick and thin. She’s road tripped across most of the US multiple times, moved three times, and always helps us remember to stay in the moment, to get outside, and (of course) to play more.

The limp wouldn’t go away, so we took her to the vet. That appointment turned into a series of appointments and eventually a biopsy.

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