Kris Reyes is a journalist and former TV news anchor. We connected during a transitional phase in her life and career— everything was on the table. Listen in to her story of reinventing her life and career.
When I was in college, I asked one of my professors to be my mentor. It felt important for me to find a mentor.
He said he couldn’t do that. He only mentors his teaching assistants. But we could get breakfast every other week or so.
I was bummed. I really wanted a mentor, and it took a lot of courage for me to ask.
In spite of my disappointment, I accepted his breakfast offer. We met nearly every other week over the course of a year. He even had me over to his house a few times.
For the past decade, we’ve stayed connected. We don’t keep up regularly, but I know I could call him if I needed something.
It’s inevitable, isn’t it? When you meet someone, the conversation always makes a stop by your work.
You feel it coming from the moment you first learn someone’s name: “So, what do you do?”
A lot of us really hate this questions. How do you feel about it? If you have any ounce of struggle with your job or dissonance between what you do and who you are, you likely don’t care for that question.
When we do work that is congruent with our identity and values, it’s easy and fun to talk about. But if it’s not something we believe in 100%, there can be awkward feelings of shame or embarrassment around it.
If you’ve ever had a job that you weren’t in love with, I have something to say to you:
“Everyone leaves me! It’s not my fault.”
I had a friend who was so committed to powerlessness and playing the victim that his life fell apart. These words came in a desperate and defiant moment, as I was trying to help him see this. His actions toward a few people in his life were damaging and hurtful, yet he was blind to the effects of his action. All he could see was his own hurt and what others had done to him.
Eventually, his marriage and many of his friendships fell apart. His response was the same, “This is always what happens to me! Everyone leaves.”
It was a mess.
Suspenseful movies aren’t my first choice, but I enjoy a good one now and then.
I remember the first time I saw M. Night Shyamalan’s movie Signs, back in college. In the early 2000’s Shyamalan was a master of suspense. He knew how to use your fear against you. I have no idea what I’d think of the movie today, but I remember being on the edge of my seat. There were these Aliens in the movie that were attacking people. It was really scary!
Until you saw the creature. I remember thinking, “well… that thing is kind of silly looking” And the movie lost its edge.
Up until that point, the monsters were always off screen— leaving their horror up to your imagination.
This is a trick that all good suspense films utilize: if the scary thing is off screen, the viewer’s imagination will inflate and magnify it. When you actually see and experience the thing, it’s not that bad.
Most of the fear we deal with has to do with some version of failure. We have a worst case scenario in our mind and at its worst, our fear makes us feel as though it will happen.